Monday, March 26, 2012

Control Must Die

As tears roll down, reminiscing on the times of laughter, of happiness, of fighting, of love. I never would have imagined us apart from each other. We were once a unit, but one person destroyed what we had. Controlled by what they said, what they would do. Fear of what????? Becoming an outcast, disconnection, rejection, and all for what????? Manipulated by what a person says, controlled by what they could do, brainwashed by to depend on them and no one else. Codependency is a killer.
Never let anyone brainwash you to the point where you have no SELF values, image, respect, and esteem. To be manipulated is losing yourself into what another desires you to be or do. STAND UP FOR RIGHT!!!!


NEVER GIVE ANOTHER INDIVIDUAL THAT CONTROL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, March 17, 2012

The Aftermath of Abuse



I witnessed an older lady at the hospital basically crying out from the inside for help. Out of the blue, this lady began to tell me she was molested and raped by her step father from the age of 8 to 16 years old. I tried my best not to be upset; however, I was unsuccessful. This lady's mentality was that of a person who was a functional drug addict. While she was talking, you can hear the shame, the anger, the disgust, the why me, and various other emotions. Even now, this lady has not dealt with her abuse and she is an adult who wants to do better for her life, but can't because of the effects from abuse. She was grateful to be alive and able to still move on with life, despite what happen to her as a child.
Everybody deals with abuse differently. Some end up being abusers, some deal with loving the opposite of what abused them, some like it and want it, and some feel that's what they deserve. NO ONE deserves to be abused!!! You have to speak up if you're being abused. Find someone that you TRUST and that can help you get out. If a person you trust tells you to just leave, that's the not the one. There must a solution to this problem. Once you leave, DO NOT go back, don't let no one talk you back, don't go back because you feel you can't make it without them. All of these are tricks of manipulation to get you back into the same place. If you do go back, it will be worse than before and it may lead to death. GET OUT & STAY OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE ABUSED!!!!!! YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THAT!!!!!!!!!!!! SEEK HELP FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!!!






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Friday, March 9, 2012

Killing From The Inside

Feelings of low self worth? Humiliation? Depression? Suicide? Confusion? Emotional Stress? Anger?




It's KILLING from the inside. So much to deal with in so many ways. Angry at everything and everybody. My heart is tearing apart, leaving me broken inside. No one understands! Constantly fighting the images.

"I never wanted this to happen. All I wanted was a parental relationship, but what was dealt to me was the opposite. How can they allow these feelings and thoughts to overrule the place held in my life? Trust is shattered, respect is burnt, love has turned to hate. How could you touch me? Why couldn't I fight back? Is that all I'm worth, sex to others? No one loves me or understands why I act the way I do. I can't take it anymore, I'll just end it all." ~Anonymous

 The psychological and emotional damage of a person dealing with sexual abuse has more effects than physical.


  • Post Traumatic Stress Disorders  (Anxiety, Stress, Fears)
  • Depression
  • Substance Abuse
  • Pregnancy
  • Flashbacks
  • Suicide
  • Eating Disorders
  • Sleep Disorders
  • Multiple Personalities

You are not alone. There are people here to help you overcome this situation. There is HOPE for you! Recovering from sexual abuse can be difficult but it is attainable.

These will help you overcome:

  1. Eat
  2. Exercise
  3. Sleep
  4. Medical Care
  5. Counseling
  6. Journal (Write out your thoughts)
  7. Meditate/Relax
  8. Spend time with family and friends
  9. Get involved in a sport or hobby
References: Parts of this section were adapted from materials provided by Domar, A., Self-Nurture: Learning to Care for Yourself as Effectively As You Care for Everyone Else.





Please note that content on this site does not constitute medical advice and LadyL is not a medical expert. If after reading this information you have further questions please contact a local doctor or hospital.

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Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Love vs Hate

So many mixed emotions............Questions needing answers. Does a person love or do they hate???? One could feel like two-face off Batman...one side pushes to love and embrace, the other pushes to hate and isolation. How can you love a person that shows nothing but disgust, hatred and unforgiveness towards you? You refuse to love me because of your own insecurities, fears and mistakes.
Was it a mistake? Yes. Was it manipulation? Yes. Was it deception? Yes. The answer to all your wondering thoughts:
Whenever you find yourself in an abusive situation, it is never the fault of the person being abused. A lot of times victims of abuse (verbal, emotional, physical, financial, sexual) blame themselves for what happened. One may say: what if I didn't...I should have done...did I cause this...was it my fault.............NO it wasn't YOUR fault! Most abusers know the person who abused them, which causes mixed emotions. You love them, but you hate them. How can someone I love do something so hateful? This causes you to not trust and love others. One finds themselves having mental and emotional issues, which can cripple a persons spirituality. You may be reading this and see yourself, asking "Yes this is ME". How can I get pass these emotions?

  1. Forgive Yourself - recognize that it was not your fault, you did nothing to cause this, what they did to you was of their own accord 
    1. Release the Shame
    2. Seek counseling
    3. Allow yourself to heal
Deal with YOU! Love YOU! Allow yourself to be free from emotional and psychological damage! You are NOT what happened to YOU! You are LOVED, You can be LOVED, You can show LOVE!



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Truth Hurts

So you can't see the truth for what it is...WHY??? Are you ashamed to face the DECISION that YOU must make??? NO ONE asks to be molested...manipulated...IT WAS THEIR DECISION...NOT MINE......because you can't face truth...you despise the very essence of my presence...when you see ME you can't help but see YOU...the hurt and pain...Disrespectful you say...SMH...tsk tsk tsk...it's really the other way around. You would rather say hurtful things...make threats...for???? There is no point......the truth hurts and until you face it...YOU WILL NEVER MOVE FORWARD