Recovering from Childhood Memories

Sometimes you look back on your childhood and wonder where did things go wrong? When did things begin to go insane? As a child you look to your parents for guidance, acceptance, love, support, caring, protection, friendship, direction, truth, financial and emotional support.

In your adult life, have you ever:
Fallen in and out of love with people who can’t love you back? Do you believe that you are essentially unlovable? Are you unable to adequately take care of yourself or people you love? Are your easily frustrated by your kids and uncertain how to parent? Do you find it difficult to empathize with others’ pain? Do others accuse you of being selfish and unfeeling?

If you never felt loved by your parents, you may not know what it really means to love and be loved.
Maybe you were never taught how to take care of a home, prepare healthy meals, or manage your money.
If your parents never took care of you, you may feel clueless about how to take care of your own children.

Childhood neglect can cause serious longterm effects as an adult. It can lead to negative physical, cognitive, psychological, behavioral or social consequences. 
* Physical health problems (diabetes, gastrointestinal problems, arthritis, headaches, gynecological problems, stroke, hepatitis and heart disease)
* Mental health problems (personality disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety disorders and psychosis)
* Suicidal behavior
* Eating disorders and obesity
* Re-victimization (more likely to have low self esteem)
* Alcohol and substance abuse
* Aggression, violence and criminal behavior
* Intergenerational transmission of abuse and neglect (more likely to abuse their own children)
* High-risk sexual behavior (unintended pregnancy, early 1st diagnosis of sexually transmitted disease, participating in group sex, and prostitution)
* Homelessness (Difficulty securing employment, experience of domestic violence, [adolescents] poor academic achievement which leads to difficulty finding employment, substance abuse, mental health problems and aggressive/violent behavior [consequences: difficult to achieve stable housing])

How can a person recover from childhood neglect or abuse?
1. Don't blame yourself and take charge of your life
- when you're neglected as a child, you continue to neglect yourself
- you don't have to become an overly dependent partner or inadequate parent
- having been ignored or worse, you continue to find people who ignore and mistreat you
2. Individual psychotherapy
- it can help you love and care for yourself. Talk to a therapist.
3. Parenting education
- it helps you learn the practical skills necessary to be a better parent
- don't beat yourself up if you find you are repeating the same mistakes to your children, learn from the classes and make the necessary changes
4. Find an older friend
- relationships with elders can help you see things differently and learn more
5. Spiritual practice or religion
- you can look to God and ask him for guidance, direction and peace of mind
6. Read
- find books that give you hope in coming from being parented badly to making a better life for themselves


Just because you were not given a fair chance at being parented doesn't mean you have to follow the same footsteps. There is always a root to an issue. Will it happen overnight? No. It takes time, perseverance, determination in your mind to believe and work on past issues. Do you wanna be free from your past? Can you be free from your past? Yes! Never let the past control you future's outcome.

Don't give up on your dreams. Go back and get those ideas from your childhood and put it into action. No person that has neglected you or abused you is worth your life falling apart. You can become a better person and you can have a better life!

I BELIEVE IN ME!

Statements we say to ourselves and others:
   "I can't do it like ____. They can do it better. I wish I could do it like ____. I'm not the best at ____."
These are all negative statements that can hold a person back from being their BEST. We often compare ourselves with others because we don't recognize the talents, gifts and new ideas we can offer in life.
No matter how a person was raised or what their background is, one must never let the negativity of a person define them. 
   Embrace your individuality. You were born to be different. There is only one you, your footprints are different, your hand prints are different, your body shape is different, your color is different, and your personality is different. If you are an identical twin, there is something different that differentiates you from your sibling. Find something within yourself that you can feel good about. Think of positive traits. Change your focus and think on what you ARE instead of what you AREN'T. Move away from things and people that will cause you to feel bad about yourself. EMBRACE YOU! Celebrate the things that make you unique. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!